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Massacre in Dinosaur Valley (1985)

Massacre in Dinosaur Valley is frequently lumped in with the Italian Cannibal films from the 1970s and 1980s.  Although there is a short section of the film where a couple of the characters are captured by cannibals,  the film is overall more of a jungle action film with an Indiana Jones type character as the hero.  That's not to say it's a bad film, I actually really like it.  I just think the promotion is misleading and as a result, people are often disappointed because the film is not what they had expected.  

The movie DOES have a good bit of action, lots of hot naked chicks, several sex scenes, a plane crash, lesbians, a bar fight, piranhas eating a guy's leg, girls in wet shirts and torn tops with no bras, daring helicopter escape, a couple of rapes, attempted sacrifice, a shootout, kidnapping by drug lords, shower scene, skin magazine photo shoot, explosions, a death by quicksand scene...oh yeah, and a couple of passing references to dinosaur bones (hardly enough to merit a dinosaur mention in the title).   Still, that's a lot of stuff to be in one cheesy, low budget film!

The story wanders.  There are so many subplots that it's tough to write a brief summery.  They kind of keep getting off topic, but I guess that does keep the film moving.  The main story is about this Indiana Jones type guy who collects Dinosaur bones.  He's basically broke and trying to hit his one big payday.  Before the story really takes off, there is a random almost nude photo shoot, a barroom brawl, a sex scene and a shower scene.  Then the story kicks in, our lead talks his way onto a plane traveling to the mysterious and dangerous Dinosaur Valley.  The plane crashes.  a hot blonde model, her photographer, a crazy Vietnam vet,  his bitchy girlfriend, an archeologists daughter and our hero try to make it out of the jungle alive.  To survive the jungle they must face torn / wet clothing, perverted leering from the psycho vet, piranhas, leeches, quicksand, jungle natives / cannibals, poison darts, nude sacrifice to native gods, topless canoe rides, random outdoor sex, white slavery, rapes and lesbianism.  This is not a horror film.  This is not a cannibal film, but if you want a film with lots of random hot nude chicks in the jungle, I give this one my highest recommendation! 

Gore-o-meter rating: 4 out of 5 (Tough call.  Not really a gore movie, but there's a fair bit of gore)

Skin-o-meter: 5 out of 5 (Oh yeah!  LOTS of skin!)